This just in: Florida governor is straight

First of call, congratulations to Florida Gov. Charlie Crist on his engagement to single mother Carole Rome.  Sure, there are skeptics are wondering why all of the sudden Crist, who was married briefly in 1979, has found his true love.  I am sure it has nothing to do with the fact that the Republican is on the short list of potential running-mates for John McCain.

Rumors of his interest or lack thereof in women have dogged Crist for years. As the Orlando Weekly noted in 2006, every reporter in Florida heard the rumors. One staffer even admitted having sex with him which Crist denied.

Sure, Charlie’s a hot 50-year-old bachelor with well-coiffed silver hair and a fondness for nicely tailored suits. But he just survived a primary against a fundie who premised his whole campaign on the notion that Charlie doesn’t hate gay people (or abortion) enough. You’d think if Tom Gallagher had something to say, he would have said it. Instead, a week before the primary Crist denied that he had fathered a love child… We’d guess that every reporter in the state has heard them, but as yet no one’s produced any proof, much less a picture of Crist having a Brokeback encounter with the pool boy.

The same rumors dogged the former New Jersey Gov. Jim McGreevey who even  had rumors spread about him that he liked to go to strip clubs with his buddies to look at …women. I don’t know whether these rumors at Crist are true or enough but they would sure make another great example of Republican hypocracy if they were. ..Not there is anything wrong with that.

David Cook will win “American Idol”

David Cook has got the smug attitude of a rock star, the purposely messed-up hair style of a rock star and the overpriced wardrobe of a rock star.  After tonight’s “American Idol”, odds are good that he will be able to live out his rock-n-roll fantasy.

Cook outperformed his rivals David Archuletta and Syesha Mercado.  He even made Aerosmith’s “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing” memorable. I had expected the other David to win, but he has sputtered over the past few weeks.

I wonder if the producers were trying to get rid of Archuletta and his allegedly pushy father by making him sing a song Dan Fogelberg.  Does anyone under the age of 50 listen to Fogelberg? Why is the 17-year-old so eager to be an easy listening superstar?

Mercado forgot that she was in a pop music competition when she picked Peggy Lee’s 1958 classic “Fever.” Worse, she vamped it up like a drag queen complete with a chair prop. She should stick with Broadway.

Next week will be the battle of the Davids. Unfortunately for Archuletta, this fight between a boy and man will not be close.

Jason Castro leaves American Idol restoring my faith in humanity

Finally, Jason Castro has been sent packing from “American Idol.” What took America so long to realize that this dreadlocked stoner was not very talented?

Castro looks like a guy who entered the contest on a lark and was shocked that he made it to Hollywood. Week after week he smiled, flipped his dreadlocks and giggled like a school girl.  He also proved that he was not much of a singer.

One or two of his performances — like playing the ukulele on “Somewhere Over the Rainbow — were cute. They were hardly the stuff of pop superstardom.  Carly Smithson, Brooke White, Chickezie, Amanda Overmyer and yes even Michael Johns were far more deserving of Castro’s spot in the final four.

David Cook seems to be the front-runner now. He is the closest thing to a pop star. David Archuletta’s earnestness is getting a bit too much to take.  The 17-year-old makes TV’s Beaver Cleaver seem like a bad ass. Syesha Mercado has a nice voice, but as I said before she seems more of a Broadway star than a pop star.

You have to wonder what the producers are going to do next season to boost the show’s lagging ratings. Remember “Celebrity Apprentice?” How about “Celebrity Idol?” The thought sends shivers down my spine.

Dear Lord when is the Hillary-Obama saga going to end.

I thought I was a political junkie. When I was a kid, I used to collect presidential campaign memorabilia. I watched the Iran Contra hearings when I was a teenager. My favorite movie is “All the President’s Men.” Ladies and gentlemen, I have had it with the never ending contest for the Democratic presidential nomination.

When I heard that Hillary Clinton won Indiana and that Barack Obama won North Carolina, I wanted to scream. Now, I understand what it feels like to be water-boarded. Can’t we decide this with a flip of a coin or an alligator wrestling contest.

Let’s briefly review the history of the campaign.

First, Hillary Clinton was going to get crowned the nominee. When that didn’t happen, the pundits questioned whether Bill Clinton was helping or hurting his wife’s campaign. Then the media swooned over every utterance from Barack Obama until the Jeremiah Wright video was played endlessly on YouTube. Feisty Hillary then stole the show in Pennsylvania and told people who wanted her to quit to buzz off. Along the way, people learned about important stuff such as flag lapel pins.

Confused? You aren’t alone.

My “American Idol” random thoughts

Attention “American Idol” fans, do you agree with any of the following:

1. That there is more than just Coke in Paula Abdul’s cup.
2. David Archuletta always looks like he’s going pee his pants
3. Jason Castro should thank the legions of stoners and pre-teen girls that vote for him that are too stupid to realize how badly he sucks.
4. Syesha Mercado is more of a Broadway star than a pop star
5. David Cook wouldn’t know an original arrangement if it bit him on the ass
6. All David Archuletta songs are starting to sound the same
7. The fact that Jason Castro made the top four and Brooke White didn’t is proof that there is no God
8. Salad croutons exude more sex appeal than David Archuletta
9. Isn’t it interesting how the sound of some songs sounds terrible and great on others
10. If Americans can’t pick the right top four American Idols means that we are not smart enough to vote for president.

Brooke White leaves “American Idol”; Jason Castro survives

Brooke White, the most consistent of any of the “American Idol” contestants, got booted from the show tonight and Jason Castro survived. It’s official: there is no God.

I liked White though her version of “I am a Believer” was painful to watch. Week after week, she managed to make even the crustiest of pop standards as the judges say “her own.” The problem — if you can call it that — was that she was too nice. I believe that her niceness isn’t an act. Then again, Rosie O’Donnell convinced millions of viewers that she wasn’t off her rocker, so anything is possible.

White, though, was almost too sweet. She makes Marie Osmond seem like a gangsta raper. I wrongly thought that America would eat up her girl next door looks up with a spoon. Maybe people want their Idols with a harder edge — make that any edge. David Archuleta, who is almost as nice, should be nervous.

I am not going to cry for White. By the time she wipes the tears off her face from her farewell performance. a throng of agents will standing by with hankies. She will be a huge star.

Jason Castro must go now from “American Idol”

When are “American Idol”voters going to wake up, smell the coffee and get rid of the marginally talented Jason Castro?

Sometimes Castro is charming. More often than not, though, his dreadlocks seem to be wound too tight. He has turned in some godawful performances such as tonight’s butchering of the Neil Diamond classic “Sweet Caroline.” For the past few weeks, Castro has performed with the grace of a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming pick-up trucks.

My pick to win the show David Archuleta has floundered of late as well. Maybe the pressure is getting too much for the 17-year-old to handle.   Brooke White, my second-favorite contestant, has been uneven as well.  America’s girl next door has been acting goofy at times though I enjoyed her performances of “Love on the Rocks” and “Play Me.”

David Cook continues to successfully sing other people’s arrangements. Syesha Mercado seems more at home on the Broadway stage than the the pop charts. She may wind up in the bottom three along with Castro and White.

By the way, what was Paula Abdul smoking when she criticized someone for singing a song that hadn’t been sung yet?  I guess it’s surprising when she is coherent.

What the hell happened on “American Idol?”

Let me get this straight. Carly Smithson did a helluva good job singing “Jesus Christ Superstar” and gets booted from “American Idol.” Meanwhile, Jason Castro butchers “Memory” and remains on the show. There is no justice in the world.

It’s a shame that Smithson is gone. I liked her voice. I liked her charming Irish accent. I even got to tolerate her tattooed arms and her freak of a husband. But its not surprising that she didn’t become the next Idol. Even though the show’s stylists softened her look, Smithson isn’t the sweet girl next door. She is the girl who looks like she can drink most people under the table.

Eventually, Smithson will thank the show’s voters for showing her the door. Most almost Idols seem to have better careers than the people who win the contest. I guess it’s because the expectations of them aren’t as great.

Hillary Clinton shouldn’t pop the champagne corks in PA yet

As expected, Hillary Clinton won the Pennsylvania primary.  It’s hardly a shock since she had the support of the state’s popular Gov. Ed Rendell and Philadelphia Mayor Michael Nutter.

But Clinton supporters shouldn’t be rejoicing yet. As of 9:43 p.m., results from the suburbs of Philadelphia weren’t available. Obama should do well there, picking up plenty of supporters including my father whose vote was canceled out by my mother who backed Clinton.

Regardless, it certainly was a lively day in my home state.

“Throughout the day, turnout has appeared strong in most sections of Philadelphia and the suburbs,” according to the The Philadelphia Inquirer: “Election judges in many precincts said more voters had turned out to vote by noon than have normally shown up all day during a typical primary.”

Obama has been gaining ground in the Keystone State for weeks, chipping away at Clinton’s once-insurmountable 20-point lead. The Illinois senator surely didn’t help himself with the so-called “bitter” comment and the hoopla over his former pastor Jeremiah Wright.  Media pundits also criticized his performance in the recent televised debate in Philadelphia though I thought he held his own against a barrage of gotcha questions from the moderators.

From MSNBC:

Obama said Tuesday that he still expected to lose, but only narrowly, and his staff painted Clinton as an opponent on the ropes.

“They were so confident that their own Pennsylvania spokesman said Clinton would be ‘unbeatable’ in Pennsylvania,” the campaign said in a memo to reporters. “The Clinton campaign needs a blowout victory in Pennsylvania to get any closer to winning the nomination.”

Howard Wolfson, Clinton’s chief spokesman, maintained that the size of Clinton’s victory was immaterial. Targeting his pitch to the Democratic officeholders and other superdelegates who hold the balance of power at the party convention in Denver in August, he said a win was a win.

Not quite. Clinton needed an overwhelming victory in my home state in order for her campaign to have enough gas to last until the convention.  Even under the best of circumstances, winning in Pennsylvania gives her tank a few more gallons but is hardly a fill-up. Obama’s lead in pledged delegates is too large for New York senator to overcome.

Carly Smithson steals show on “American Idol’s” Broadway night

Carly Smithson belted out a great rendition of “Jesus Christ Superstar”, which stole the show on tonight’s “American Idol” salute to Andrew Lloyd Weber which was filled with one awkward performance after another.

Jason Castro, in particular, butchered “Memory”: from “Cats” and may finally be sent home. Brooke White looked like a deer caught in the headlights.  David Cook managed to do a decent job with his number from “Phantom of the Opera” though I didn’t think it was as great as the judges did. David Archuleta muddled through his performance.

The point of this eludes me.  Isn’t the show called “American Idol” not “Broadway Idol?”  Do most pop music fans really care about musicals? Not if they are under 40. Blame the decline in arts education for that one. That’s why most of the contestants had no clue about how to sing musical theater.

Andrew Lloyd Weber was the most entertaining of all the mentors. He actually gave Archuleta good advice to keep his eyes open which he managed to do for the most part.  Smithson also wisely took his advice to sing “Jesus Christ Superstar.”

Castro, White and Archuleta may wind up in the bottom three