This just in: Florida governor is straight

First of call, congratulations to Florida Gov. Charlie Crist on his engagement to single mother Carole Rome.  Sure, there are skeptics are wondering why all of the sudden Crist, who was married briefly in 1979, has found his true love.  I am sure it has nothing to do with the fact that the Republican is on the short list of potential running-mates for John McCain.

Rumors of his interest or lack thereof in women have dogged Crist for years. As the Orlando Weekly noted in 2006, every reporter in Florida heard the rumors. One staffer even admitted having sex with him which Crist denied.

Sure, Charlie’s a hot 50-year-old bachelor with well-coiffed silver hair and a fondness for nicely tailored suits. But he just survived a primary against a fundie who premised his whole campaign on the notion that Charlie doesn’t hate gay people (or abortion) enough. You’d think if Tom Gallagher had something to say, he would have said it. Instead, a week before the primary Crist denied that he had fathered a love child… We’d guess that every reporter in the state has heard them, but as yet no one’s produced any proof, much less a picture of Crist having a Brokeback encounter with the pool boy.

The same rumors dogged the former New Jersey Gov. Jim McGreevey who even  had rumors spread about him that he liked to go to strip clubs with his buddies to look at …women. I don’t know whether these rumors at Crist are true or enough but they would sure make another great example of Republican hypocracy if they were. ..Not there is anything wrong with that.

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Filed under Barack Obama, campaign 2008, John McCain, Presidential Election, Republicans

David Cook will win “American Idol”

David Cook has got the smug attitude of a rock star, the purposely messed-up hair style of a rock star and the overpriced wardrobe of a rock star.  After tonight’s “American Idol”, odds are good that he will be able to live out his rock-n-roll fantasy.

Cook outperformed his rivals David Archuletta and Syesha Mercado.  He even made Aerosmith’s “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing” memorable. I had expected the other David to win, but he has sputtered over the past few weeks.

I wonder if the producers were trying to get rid of Archuletta and his allegedly pushy father by making him sing a song Dan Fogelberg.  Does anyone under the age of 50 listen to Fogelberg? Why is the 17-year-old so eager to be an easy listening superstar?

Mercado forgot that she was in a pop music competition when she picked Peggy Lee’s 1958 classic “Fever.” Worse, she vamped it up like a drag queen complete with a chair prop. She should stick with Broadway.

Next week will be the battle of the Davids. Unfortunately for Archuletta, this fight between a boy and man will not be close.

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Jason Castro leaves American Idol restoring my faith in humanity

Finally, Jason Castro has been sent packing from “American Idol.” What took America so long to realize that this dreadlocked stoner was not very talented?

Castro looks like a guy who entered the contest on a lark and was shocked that he made it to Hollywood. Week after week he smiled, flipped his dreadlocks and giggled like a school girl.  He also proved that he was not much of a singer.

One or two of his performances — like playing the ukulele on “Somewhere Over the Rainbow — were cute. They were hardly the stuff of pop superstardom.  Carly Smithson, Brooke White, Chickezie, Amanda Overmyer and yes even Michael Johns were far more deserving of Castro’s spot in the final four.

David Cook seems to be the front-runner now. He is the closest thing to a pop star. David Archuletta’s earnestness is getting a bit too much to take.  The 17-year-old makes TV’s Beaver Cleaver seem like a bad ass. Syesha Mercado has a nice voice, but as I said before she seems more of a Broadway star than a pop star.

You have to wonder what the producers are going to do next season to boost the show’s lagging ratings. Remember “Celebrity Apprentice?” How about “Celebrity Idol?” The thought sends shivers down my spine.

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Filed under american idol, Carly Smithson, David Archuleta

Dear Lord when is the Hillary-Obama saga going to end.

I thought I was a political junkie. When I was a kid, I used to collect presidential campaign memorabilia. I watched the Iran Contra hearings when I was a teenager. My favorite movie is “All the President’s Men.” Ladies and gentlemen, I have had it with the never ending contest for the Democratic presidential nomination.

When I heard that Hillary Clinton won Indiana and that Barack Obama won North Carolina, I wanted to scream. Now, I understand what it feels like to be water-boarded. Can’t we decide this with a flip of a coin or an alligator wrestling contest.

Let’s briefly review the history of the campaign.

First, Hillary Clinton was going to get crowned the nominee. When that didn’t happen, the pundits questioned whether Bill Clinton was helping or hurting his wife’s campaign. Then the media swooned over every utterance from Barack Obama until the Jeremiah Wright video was played endlessly on YouTube. Feisty Hillary then stole the show in Pennsylvania and told people who wanted her to quit to buzz off. Along the way, people learned about important stuff such as flag lapel pins.

Confused? You aren’t alone.

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Filed under Barack Obama, Democrats, Hillary Clinton, Presidential Election

My “American Idol” random thoughts

Attention “American Idol” fans, do you agree with any of the following:

  1. That there is more than just Coke in Paula Abdul’s cup.
  2. David Archuletta always looks like he’s going pee his pants
  3. Jason Castro should thank the legions of stoners and pre-teen girls that vote for him that are too stupid to realize how badly he sucks.
  4. Syesha Mercado is more of a Broadway star than a pop star
  5. David Cook wouldn’t know an original arrangement if it bit him on the ass
  6. All David Archuletta songs are starting to sound the same
  7. The fact that Jason Castro made the top four and Brooke White didn’t is proof that there is no God
  8. Salad croutons exude more sex appeal than David Archuletta
  9. Isn’t it interesting how the sound of some songs sounds terrible and great on others
  10. If Americans can’t pick the right top four American Idols means that we are not smart enough to vote for president.

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Filed under american idol, Brooke White, David Archuleta

Brooke White leaves “American Idol”; Jason Castro survives

Brooke White, the most consistent of any of the “American Idol” contestants, got booted from the show tonight and Jason Castro survived. It’s official: there is no God.

I liked White though her version of “I am a Believer” was painful to watch. Week after week, she managed to make even the crustiest of pop standards as the judges say “her own.” The problem — if you can call it that — was that she was too nice. I believe that her niceness isn’t an act. Then again, Rosie O’Donnell convinced millions of viewers that she wasn’t off her rocker, so anything is possible.

White, though, was almost too sweet. She makes Marie Osmond seem like a gangsta raper. I wrongly thought that America would eat up her girl next door looks up with a spoon. Maybe people want their Idols with a harder edge — make that any edge. David Archuleta, who is almost as nice, should be nervous.

I am not going to cry for White. By the time she wipes the tears off her face from her farewell performance. a throng of agents will standing by with hankies. She will be a huge star.

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Filed under american idol, Brooke White, David Archuleta

Jason Castro must go now from “American Idol”

When are “American Idol”voters going to wake up, smell the coffee and get rid of the marginally talented Jason Castro?

Sometimes Castro is charming. More often than not, though, his dreadlocks seem to be wound too tight. He has turned in some godawful performances such as tonight’s butchering of the Neil Diamond classic “Sweet Caroline.” For the past few weeks, Castro has performed with the grace of a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming pick-up trucks.

My pick to win the show David Archuleta has floundered of late as well. Maybe the pressure is getting too much for the 17-year-old to handle.   Brooke White, my second-favorite contestant, has been uneven as well.  America’s girl next door has been acting goofy at times though I enjoyed her performances of “Love on the Rocks” and “Play Me.”

David Cook continues to successfully sing other people’s arrangements. Syesha Mercado seems more at home on the Broadway stage than the the pop charts. She may wind up in the bottom three along with Castro and White.

By the way, what was Paula Abdul smoking when she criticized someone for singing a song that hadn’t been sung yet?  I guess it’s surprising when she is coherent.

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Filed under american idol, Brooke White, David Archuleta, Uncategorized